


Fear

by TuppingLiberty



Series: TLIB FFC 2021- original works [11]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Nyctophobia, Past Child Abuse, Relationship Negotiation, afraid of the dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: FFC day 11: FearFeaturing a cute couple in a new relationship, but one of them has trouble sleeping without a light.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: TLIB FFC 2021- original works [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138628
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15
Collections: February Ficlet Challenge 2021: Apocalypse No





	Fear

Terran doesn’t notice it until the third night they sleep together, perhaps because Duncan doesn’t actually stay to sleep the first two nights. So really, it’s after the third time they’ve fucked. They’re sweaty, and Terran is lovingly running a warm moistened towel over Duncan’s body, cleaning up the mess the lube left behind after they’d thrown their condoms away. 

They’d met online, clicking in chat and then in person, an actual success story after so many years of meeting absolute assholes. He’s not sure if it’s the post-orgasm haze or not, but Terran’s never felt this way about someone before. 

He tosses the washcloth aside and pulls the covers up over their naked bodies. Cuddling in close, he nuzzles against Duncan’s smooth jawline. “Stay. Please? I’ll set an alarm, drive you home in the morning so you can wash and change.” 

His heart hasn’t felt safe enough to ask before, but now he gladly cuts it out of his body and offers it to Duncan in the form of sleeping together. Actually just sleeping. 

Duncan tenses, but he looks up at Terran’s eyes and seems to melt again. “Yeah, I can stay.” 

Terran smiles, and Duncan melts even more, pulling him down for a kiss. They get all adjusted like that, the awkwardness of two people trying to get used to sharing the same space for the first time, but eventually Terran reaches up over Duncan to turn off the bedside light. 

Duncan stops him, though, pulling his arm back. “I, um, I was thinking about reading myself to sleep. Do you mind the light? It’s better for my eyes than just relying on my phone’s light.” 

Terran’s honestly not sure how Duncan can even hold his eyes open, but he nods sleepily, settling his head half against his pillow and half against Duncan’s shoulder. He drifts off when Duncan’s fingers start idly petting through his hair. 

When he wakes a couple of hours later, Duncan is scooched up against him, cold, and the light’s still on.  _ Probably fell asleep reading, _ Terran thinks, as he pulls another blanket over them and turns out the light. 

And he wouldn’t notice it, except it becomes a pattern, that every night, Duncan reads himself to sleep, and falls asleep with the light on, and it wakes Terran up in the middle of the night. It’s odd, but also he’s slowly falling in love with Duncan, in that honeymoon stage, and so it’s fine. 

He doesn’t even know why he brings it up. Just a little light teasing before bed. He’s relaxed, all cum-drunk after sucking Duncan off and receiving a handjob back, and he says, somewhat stupidly, “Maybe try not to fall asleep with the light on tonight, huh, babe?” practically half asleep already. 

Duncan, though, immediately tenses beneath him. “I didn’t realize it bothered you,” he replies stiffly, practically a board of ice in Terran’s arms. 

Terran blinks back awake, realizing he’s somehow stepped in it. “I mean, it doesn’t bother me, it’s just funny that you  _ always _ fall asleep reading and forget to turn off the light.” 

“Well, I…” Duncan trails off, looking upset, before leaning over and snapping off the light. “There. Off.” 

“Dunc, baby, I didn’t mean to upset you, I-” 

“It’s okay,” Duncan says on a shaky breath in the dark. “Let’s- let’s just go to sleep.” 

Except Duncan doesn’t relax. If anything Duncan gets stiffer, his breath coming faster, almost like he’s having-

“Duncan?” Terran reaches over, flips the light back on, to see Duncan definitely having a panic attack. “Baby, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m- fine-” Duncan tries to say around strained breaths. 

“You’re really not.” Terran pulls Duncan into his arms, rubbing over his skin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. You can fall asleep reading however often you want.” 

Duncan shuts his eyes, and Terran is alarmed to see tears gathering at the edges. “No, no, please don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong and I can’t have you thinking that this is your fault. It’s not your fault I’m a freak.” 

“Hey, don’t bad mouth my boyfriend.” 

Duncan manages a little laugh even though his breathing is still fast. 

“There you go, Dunc, nice and easy breaths for me. What happened?” 

Duncan turns toward him, cuddling into his chest, wiping his eyes on Terran’s pajama t-shirt. “It’s so, so stupid.” 

“Try me.” 

“I’m…” His hands ball up in Terran’s shirt, wringing it in anxiety. “I’m afraid of the dark, okay? I sleep with a light on, like a baby. Always have. Tried not to, couldn’t deal with it. My college roommates hated me, and you’re the first guy I’ve ever- I want to keep- but…”

“Whoa, hey, hey, Duncan, it’s okay.” Terran rubs over his back. “It’s not a big deal for me. Not a deal breaker, even.”

“‘S’not?” Duncan sniffles. 

“It’s really not. Dunc, I think-” Terran pulls back so he can meet Duncan’s eyes. “I think I’m falling in love with you. This...is not even a blip on the radar.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

“I don’t even have a good reason. I’ve never been attacked or anything. Nothing bad has ever happened in the dark, I just- I just can’t handle it. As if being gay wasn’t bad enough for my dad, I have to have the sissiest fear ever.” 

Terran hums, hugging Duncan to him again. Duncan’s issues with his own brand of masculinity and what his dad thinks is masculine are long and complicated and Terran’s only starting to understand the full reach of them. “Did he, um, try to get rid of the fear?” 

Duncan’s quiet for long enough to confirm it for Terran, but his words break Terran’s heart. “Yeah, I wasn’t, um, allowed to leave the light on when I was a kid. I kept- kept a flashlight in my bed though, and I just...learned to turn it on after he was asleep and wake up before he did so I could switch back to the flashlight.” 

_ Jesus. _ “You are allowed to have the light on, baby. If that’s how you need to sleep, that’s how you need to sleep.” 

“It won’t keep you up?” 

“Can we change the bulb to a lower intensity, or maybe get a nightlight? Would either of those work?” 

Duncan nods, obviously eager to please. 

“We’ll try them,” Terran vows, worried that Duncan will agree to anything. “We’ll figure out how to make it work.” 

They lapse into silence, Duncan’s fingers tracing over his chest. Eventually, Duncan leans back, meeting his eyes again. “Ter?” 

“Yeah?” 

Duncan gives him a sweet smile. “I think I’m falling in love with you, too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up being darker than I had originally planned. Oops! Duncan and Terran live happily ever after though. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
